When I write this post, the clock is at 00.00 – January 1, 2009
Happy New Year, everybody !!!
Time flew so fast. We’re older and older. I don’t know… everytime new year comes, I’m always think about my ages. 
To be honest, I’m not satisfied with my progress at 2008. Too much things did not happen as expected.
But, that’s life.
You just need to learn from your mistake to achieve success. We can say that success is a product of a bunch of mistakes.
Next year, I have to be a better person.
Ganbatteeeee !!!!!!!!
I wonder…
I wonder why… I feel a strange feeling like this.
I couldn’t found the reason that stay behind all of this.
I don’t know…
Normally, I want to stay hidden… to stay unknown. I feel a little bit uncomfortable if anyone or anything knows about me too much. Maybe it’s because I’m too much worried about too much things. Maybe because someone scared the hell out of me (I just learned this language from someone… haha)
But now I’m change albeit not much.
I don’t know why…
OK… to be honest. Maybe I know the reason… the reason that I can’t tell, because I’m not sure about it and my ego prevent me to tell it. Maybe I’m too proud of myself that make me fail to admit it.
Maybe it’s the time to think over it again.
Maybe it’s the time for a rejuvenating withdrawal from excess distractions that come from inside.
Maybe it’s the time to remain silent, although sometimes I couldn’t resist my will to speak out what’s in my mind.
Yeah… it’s all about possibilities.
Now I have to rearrange everything…
My mind is completely stuck and going nowhere. errggghhh…
It keeps correcting the path so it wouldn’t head into the wrong direction. It’s just like our life. Sometimes we are missing our path, and with some guidance we can make our path back to the right direction.
This cycle will repeat many times. It’s like zig zag path, but ultimately, we will reach our destination.
Some people have a good guidance. Some people guided to the wrong place. Some people don’t know where they are heading to.
Where is your destination? Why you want to go there? Are you sure about it?
Take some time to ask yourself. And be honest to yourself. You’re responsible for your own destiny. Keep that in mind.
People said that dream is flower of sleep. Others said that dream is prophecy, but for me dream is just a dream.
There is something interesting about dream. Recently, I had a dream… I’m become daddy. I have a son, a baby. He is very cute.
I think that I remember every details of my baby’s face, but I don’t have any image about his mom. Haha… maybe I’m too focused on the baby.
I never been a dad before, and although it is just a dream, now I know how it feels to become father of a cute baby. Haha…
I feel something I couldn’t say it with words. It’s like a joy, but it’s completely different.
Actually, it’s weird enough, because I never dreamed about something like this before. Usually I dreamed about science fiction story, about how I couldn’t beat the monster with power, instead I use chocolate to tame the monster.
You may laugh to know that the monster can be tamed using chocolate, but still I take a good lesson from it. Monster is like our emotion, about the pain that we feel deep in our heart.
We are often trying to kill the pain, but sometimes we can’t win. Sometimes the pain becomes stronger after our effort to kill it.
We shouldn’t kill the pain, but we have to tame it like what I do when I tame the monster with chocolate. Haha…
See you later.
Have you ever helped people in need? I believe most of you would say “YES !!!”.
Some of my friend said that good deeds are not beneficial at all, because some people used to ‘use’ you. It means that they only need your help for their own importance and they don’t have any intention to pay you back someday.
After saying that, he starts to think over again, and he said that we should not help people with the hope that we will receive any payback in the future. But it’s still unpleasant if you ask for help from someone whom ever helped by you but they are not willing to help you although they have the capacity to help you.
Hm… Actually it can’t be helped. Not everyone will remember your kindness, but I believe that there is some who still care about you. You just need to help more and more people.
What are the possibilities?
If you’re so kind to everybody who knows you, you might find some friend try to help you when you are in need. You might find some friends who have special interest in you, and he/she could be your partner of life. Some of them might offer you business opportunity. Some of them might give you a good chance to improve your career, etc.
There are so many possibilities.
So let’s see if you have a bad attitude. You’ll hated, nobody will care about you, someone may stab you from behind… owwww… what a pain in the a$$.
Now the choice is in your hand… do you want to be a good person or do you want to live badly as a bad person? Decide your own destiny.
I read a blog post about cyber love. The author said that cyberlove won’t work and she never think about it.
How could someone who doesn’t find love in real world, able to find love through cyberspace?
That’s the main thought.
It’s difficult to answer such kind of question.
We often heard people said that love is blind.
If this kind of question arise, then we can make conclusion that love is not blind at all.
I’m not talking about what is right or what is wrong. But to think about it, there’s always a possibilities that cyber love may work. So, I think that we should not close our door or open the door too wide for someone from cyberspace. If someone knock at our door, we should welcome the guest. There is no obligation here. We have our own choice.
So, in my humble opinion, we should not close our heart or open it too wide. Just let it flow.
Another problem is distance.
For most of woman, it’s hard to be seperated by distance. So, if you have girlfriend far away, then I think that you should come to visit her regularly.
Find your own boundaries.
Recently, I read about an article. It said that every time we wake up, we should put a smile on our face. Smile will brighten your day.
I try to do it… but it seems easy to say than to do.
This morning I try to smile, but it only last for seconds. After that I’m back to my boring face. I don’t know… maybe I found some boundaries inside my head.
It’s a worry and fear and laziness.
Some friends suggest me to do what I fear, to feel the thing that I worry the most. But can I?
That’s a stupid question. I will never know before I do it.
It must be pretty hard for sure… but it’s life and you have to keep moving on.
Last night, I couldn’t sleep…
I’m very anxious to find out about certain issues in my life and I couldn’t find the answer… I felt irritated by this condition, but it couldn’t be helped.
I took my time browsing through the web… searching information about metta meditation. Google gave me some results, and I was directed to a forum where people talk about Buddhism.
They had a quite complex conversation in there, and I was delighted because I found some new inspiration from it.
Every time we feel anxious. We’re worrying about our career, we’re worrying about our relationship, we’re worrying about our family, we’re worrying about our health, and we’re worrying about our family. We have too much things to worry about, and we tend to create disbelief in our mind system. We are starting to create boundaries around us and it will harm us in the future.
Actually, I’m very tired of this and I always think about it. This won’t get me anywhere… this is completely useless. I just need to feel relaxed. I just need to control myself. The most dangerous enemy comes from your inner, and when you find solution to tame your ego… you’ll become a better person.
So, the first thing I should do is to recognize the forms of the mind. I should not try to destroy it, rather to tame it. It’s sure not an easy job because it’s easier to kill than to cure.
Still long way to go… I hope I’ll get to the place where I always wanted to.
Good night… my friends. 
Recent news in Indonesian newspaper said that in a few months from now many people will lose their job. The cause is global crisis spreading from USA.
Indonesian product now lack of demand because USA now can’t afford to import as much as they did in the past. No sales, no money. No money, no jobs.
Haizzz… I hope the government will find some solutions for this problem.
The problem is this country is very depended on other country.
Yeah… it can’t be helped but in the future we should get lesson about this. We should consider about diversification and learn how to be an autonomous country.
How about you? Do you ever think about starting your own business instead of working for a company?
Recently, I read about online business article at this site : http://ebusiness.article89.com . I’m quite interested and I think I’ll try it.
Recently, I read news from an internet portal about a very kind man who donated toys for kids at England. The total value of the toys itself worth more than 9 million pound sterling.
Wow… that’s a big number for me, and what made me surprised is the one who donated that much didn’t even tell his/her name. Is he/she forgot to tell his/her name or he/she just don’t want to be center of attention? I don’t know. But personally, two thumbs up for his/her effort.
Maybe someday I’ll do the same good deed… Haha… Who knows?
I’m glad that there a still good people in this world. I’m sick when I saw a lot of war, terrorism and other negative issues on TV or newspaper. Yeah… it can’t be helped. Our world consists of positive force and negative force. The existence of it creates balance. But for now, the world is unstable because of global economic crisis. 
It’s already late night in here. I don’t know what to say anymore. So, see you later…
