Heh… to think about it, I always like this kind of weather, but one of my friend don’t like it. He said cloudy weather is like giving an impression that someone is sick.

Hm.. I think it’s just a matter of point of view.

To be honest, I hate sunny hot weather. But I always wonder why people in european country mostly like to take on vacation to tropical island? It’s hot in here you know !!!

Ha… maybe they are just bored with cold weather at their own country. It can be helped, of course.

In my country there’s a popular idiom : “neighbour’s grass is always greener than your own grass”. It means that we often feel that what we have is not as good as what the neighbour has. To sum it up, it also means that human will never satisfied with what they have, instead they’re always jealous with what other people had. What a pity, right?

We seemed to chase on a lot of things endlessly to the point that we forget to appreciate what we already had.

Greed is one of human problem. It consume your precious time without you knowing about it. It’s progressed to a degree that we actually don’t know what we want. We become confused, unsettled, lost in the middle of nowhere.

So, what would you gonna do if you come into this circumstances?

Honestly said, it once happened to me, and sometimes if I get lucky, I feel tired and easily forget anything. That’s the only time when I feel really relaxed. But most of time, I can’t let go of all my daily works, all my worries, and every stuffs in my head. It’s like your brain tied up to a strong iron chain that made you hard to let go all your problems.

I always said to myself that in order to free myself I need to rely on myself. Others can just give some help, but they will never be able to take the problems out of your head and finish it off at once. But sure, words is always easier to said than to be accomplished.

Argh… I think I gonna need good rest and meditate to calm my mind.

On a spring, they were on vacation to the beach and got a room with a terrace overlooked to the sea. Meanwhile, terraced room next to them rented by an elderly man with a younger woman, and a little baby. This was the thing feared by Marsha most.

It was not unusual if we got what we fear most, and what was worried by Marsha had present, right next to her room. Seeing the family, friends, Marsha said, "Wow, look at that. Lover of the person is still very young. "

At this point, the holiday was already over for Marsha. She was devastated, she could not sleep, did not want to eat, and felt as if her world was collapsed.

"I’m nothing at that time," she said. "The energy of my youth, beauty, all of my grades as a human have been taken from me."

The next day, as they sat on the beach, the couple arrived with their small children and Marsha began to be afraid. A huge hatred arose, and it made her more afraid. She was on vacation in a beautiful place, with the sun shining, but at the same time filled with fear and hate.

However, when she began talking with them, she knew that they were not lovers, but the father and daughter. "Ah," she said, and since that time, she began to like the little charming boy. Moment later, she realized that besides her daughter, the old man has no partner. How wonderful, she thought, now her friend got to know that older man was often left alone. Then, she saw that the man looked at her with admiration. Now, she feels pretty, like being on top of the world. The previous night, she suffered greatly; now, she sat on the beach with great joy.

This was the machination of ego and false pride. A time filled with hatred for a child for no clear reason, the next moment feel on top of the world, because the circumstances seemed different and because the ego felt loved. 

Zazen (note: meditation) destroying this great suffer by constantly helping us to realize the difference between fantasy and reality, between seeing who we really were and what we dreamed.  
Truly Free human is an individual who does not need to project anything. He is a clear mirror, just look at what the present is, offer compassion, and enlighten anything.

Source : Unknown

But you always know that the pig is always lazy. Even if you give them a plate of delicious cakes, maybe they are reluctant to walk for a few meter to get the food.

The same happens to me. Sigh… Maybe I’m already overslept these recent days.
The job is on waiting list. First, I need to complete my ebook about meditation. Then I have to finish my translation service website. It’s a lot of work of course. But it can’t be helped.

You must work diligently in order to achieve what you want in life, right?
No need to say, I’m sure that most of you will agree on what I said.

But, why… Why do my eyes can’t kept open in daytime. I’m half aware.

Maybe I’m lack of motivation. That’s why I need to sort out my priorities and the objectives, the goals I want to obtain in near future.

Work.. work… work… work… Sigh… Ganbatte !!!

For me this year somehow better than previous one. But strangely, I feel the same. Nothing improve too much this year. I’m still lonely, searching for something that I don’t really want… etc etc… I realize that something which is not easy to attain is satisfaction.

As human, it’s natural that we want more and more. Every time we get something, we’re tend to search more and more. It’s not uncommon when we do love more than one thing. We’re not only seeking for love, we’re also seeking for money, fame, adventure, etc. When we try to stop, we often feel empty. Our mind is keep yelling “Hoi… do something… It’s boring in here !!!”.

People often tell me if I have a lot of money, I will happy. If I have a goddess like beautiful wife, it will be a bliss.
Is that true?

I have seen my neighbor committing suicide. He has beautiful wife, a lot of money and good fortune. But what happened was the good fortune come to turn into bad fortune.The lucky star turned into bad luck star which is become the reason that force him to commit suicide.

So… what’s happiness exactly?

If you have a lot of money, you will be haunted by fear. If you have someone that you love the most, you’ll keep missing that person when they are not around. That’s why I’m starting to think that worldly happiness is just another mask of suffering.

So whether I make any progress or no at all it’s not important. The more important thing is whether I’m fully satisfied with my life. Am I making too much complaint or not?
I remember a quote from a story about wishing game… The only happiness that I wished for is when I don’t need any wish to be happy.

What you need is just facebook account and paypal account, and you have to be resident of these country : India, Thailand, Malaysia, Korea, Vietnam, Philippines, Indonesia or Singapore.

Here is the simple way to do this :

1. Just go to this site : Paypal WishList .
2. Login with your facebook username.
3. Create wishlist.
4. Share your wishlist to all your friend in your facebook friend list.
5. Submit your email address associated with paypal account.
6. Finished. Easy right?

You will be entitled to $1 USD for your own Paypal Wishlist, plus an additional $1 USD per friend who uses your invitation to create his or her own PayPal WishList, provided your friend has a PayPal account. Each person is only entitled to create one (1) PayPal WishList. For the avoidance of doubt, in the event your friend receives more than one invitation, only the person whose invitation is used to create the former’s PayPal WishList, will be entitled to the $1 USD.

You will be notified by PayPal no later than February 28th, 2010, via email or any other method as PayPal may from time to time determine, of how much you have earned.

Prizes will be credited to your PayPal account as per your submission to PayPal via the Paypal Wishlist, no later than February 28th, 2010. If you do not provide Paypal.com with this, Paypal will not be able to deposit your earnings.

To submit the PayPal email address you would like linked to your PayPal WishList, go to the Paypal Wishlist and click the link below to the ’submit your email address’ in the upper left side of the page. Any cash prizes to be paid to your PayPal account, will be credited in the currency as set out herein and currency conversion fees (if applicable) or any other related fees, will be borne solely by you.

How are you doing brother…
I hope you are fine there.

Here,… I think I’m fine too… but…. eh Can’t be helped, right… human is always complaint about their life. Just like me. Hehe.

I wonder… always wonder… why I live in this world for so long?
Why do I live? It seems like I’m complicating myself huh?? Haha
Ok then let’s think simple way.

In my life, I always thought that I need to have this or that, I need to pursue my dream. Why? Of course because I love it ! Why I love it? Duh… I’m complicating myself once again. Haha

I don’t know… but I feel the harder I try to reach my dream, the more unpleasant feeling I got. It feel like I force myself into the cliff.
I realize that the pleasure need to be paid with suffering and pressure from the environment where I live right now.

Even though I get all I want, will I be satisfied with all of it? *sigh…
I feel that I’m very stupid.
Maybe I’m not fully aware about my consciousness. Maybe I’m still dreaming and never wake up even though I got bad dreams.

No satisfaction at all.

Brother…Did you ever loved someone? I think I’m falling in love with… more than one person.
Please don’t judge me as crazy but this is the truth. I’m easily attracted with girl. I don’t know why. If you wise you’ll say that I’m good at looking at someone’s quality, but if you not- I think you’ll say that I’m flirtatious. Haha..

You know what,… Usually I’m not easily bribed with money, but if it’s about women… I think I’m not firm enough to stand against them… haha KicK My AsS !!!

Maybe this is my last obstacle. If I can get through this… maybe I’ll feel better. But who can guess..

Woman is not easy to handle… they’re just like small little cup… so fragile. You always want to handle it with care because you don’t want to make it break…. That’s why it’s not easy to get along with them. Somehow,… you’ll feel that you’re already lost your freedom.

But this is life, and it can’t be helped that I love them so much.

Brother… how about you? You’re always silent about your feeling. So long we have become friend but I never know much about your relationship with woman.
Brother… maybe I can give you some advice… If you can let go of everything, you will not afraid of losing anything. So, just be calm and see this life the way it is. OK?

Brother… see you later.

At first, I thought he is a man without emotion, but it’s not possible. How can someone without emotion can have a very sweet smile?

I think… even if I take his life, he will never complaint !
What the hell !!

Ow… who said hell?

I try to make him angry, but the one who gets angry is me.

Now… who is the loser.

Then he said : “No one win.. no one lose”

Now I know what he means by that.

Thank you very much. Arigatou. Terima Kasih. Xie xie ni.

That’s why I think that we are slave of our own desire.

Even when we have control over anything. Even if we have money, power, love, everything… we’re still a slave of master of deception.

That’s no doubt about it. It’s like cancer. Cancer live within ourbody and ourbody accept it as a part of our own body, even though it make so much desctruction within our body.

I’m still struggling… I will never give up, even I have lost in every battle that I start.

I know this life is short, but I won’t to be in hurry. Because doing something in rush will just end up in vain.

Someday, he met a Zen Master, and he told him about his past.
Then, he ask the Zen Master, “Why should I become a doctor if they are keep getting hurt all the time?”
The Zen Master gave him simple answer : “It’s because you’re a doctor.”
Upon hearing that response, he feel enlighten. Then he made decision to become a doctor again.

Some of you may get confused why just a simple answer can change someone’s decision?
Let me give you a simpler analogy.
If you feel hungry, what would you do? The most reasonable answer is to eat something. By eating something, do you think that you will never get hungry again? You keep eating and you keep hungry all the time, is that mean that you’ll stop eating?
Of course not… haha

Everything in this life is changing. You can’t get away form change, therefore the first lesson for us is to learn to accept change. If you try to avoid change, then you’ll keep suffer all the time.
Accept change, look at everthing as they are, and ultimately, find the way to free yourself from unstopping circle of birth and death.

Love as if nobody ever made you suffer.

Dance as if nobody is watching you.

Sing as if nobody is hearing you.

Live as if the paradise were on this earth.