Hardy Chen Power Blog » happiness

Happiness

Hardy Chen — Tue, 02 Aug 2011 03:34:08 +0000

All you need is to be happy, and you can’t get that by bowing down to someone nor by giving flowers to someone you like.
Because the happiness we talk about is not that kind of (happiness)..
Worldly happiness, that’s how I called it.. even though the feeling seems so real, it will eventually wilt, because time will take it all and give something new only for it to be taken again.
This is what we called ‘change‘.

‘Change’ is inevitable,
that’s why…

-The real happiness is not the exact opposite of suffering.-

To see the real one, you can’t wear any kind of glasses that will manipulate your sight.

Some people surrounded by problems thus looking for a way out, but they seems unable to find a way out.
Why?
Because their mind has already set boundaries that should not be crossed under any circumstances.
They are trapped in their self-made prison.
They live behind the bar and doesn’t even realize that the bar isn’t really exist.
…
…

Happiness: The Final Conclusion …

You must set your vision further in order to understand how things works.
Fail to do so, you will just live in ordinary life, vulnerable to suffering and sorrow of the world.

The happiness of being a loser

Hardy Chen — Mon, 23 May 2011 04:30:28 +0000

Wierd topic to talk about, eh.?
Before you make any objection please read this article until the end and give me some of your opinion.
The title seems so pathetic, right?
But the cover isn’t always represent what’s inside. You can’t take impression on what someone wear to decide he/she is a good or bad person (although actually you tend to do so. LoL)
You also can’t decide whether the food is delicious only by looking at its appereance. And you can’t judge me as pathetic only because I wrote a title that ‘seems’ pathetic.

There’s a joy of being a winner. I do not have to write it in full description to explain how does it feel. Well, although you were never be a winner in everything you did, at least you know how bitter losing is and only by reflecting on it you sure understand how good the feeling of winning. Right?
This article isn’t trying to encourage any loser out there, instead the writer (who is me ) is trying to reveal the truth about happiness of being a loser.
If you feel great after reading this article, it’s not my fault. It’s your own fault for believing all I said. haha
But hey, is that wrong to believe something which is true (by your own ehipassiko) LoL.
So, you must have been thinking… what’s so good about being a loser. If that so, why don’t all this people in this world would want to become a loser?
Well, first I need to tell you that you’re mistaken for assuming that I intend to tell you that being a loser is good.
And your question rose because you couldn’t see the happiness of being a loser. Even if you can see it, I don’t want everyone of us to have desire to become a loser forever.
The truth is it’s not about being a loser or being a winner. The title is just a trick to lure you to read this article. Haha..
But hey, we’re.not.entirely out of topic, right? So, keep reading.
Like I said, it’s not about being a winner or loser, It’s about being happy, which is hard for anyone who think of himself as ‘loser’. for me too.. (maybe?) LoL
So, being a loser, who gave that predicate?
It’s the gift from other people who set their own standard of being a loser or being a winner. Only if you angry, or at least bothered, you have already accepted the gift.
But you, yourself must set your objective right.
Even if you fail to fulfill your objective, it doesn’t mean you have to give up on it. Anyone could call you a ‘loser’, but you must think of yourself as a fighter, a die-hard individual. You still have time to strive for your goals without having to place any burden on your shoulder. It’s like struggling for something with joy, not with fear of losing something.
It’s important not to have a pity on yourself, and learn to appreciate things. Mind about how you look upon this life, not what the others look upon you. It’s about perspective, the way of life.
Look at yourself. Who you are? Why are you keeps on clinging on unnecessary things?
The truth is the real battle is not in the game you’ve lost. The real battle is right inside your own mind. If you have a wrong conception about winning and losing, then I can say that you are always losing no matter what.
If you feel disappointed because you lost an important match, you may try to console yourself by saying… “Ah, what’s so great about winning?”
Actually at some cases, this statement give a strong impression to the others that you’re desperated, you’re terribly sad and others will have pity on you.
Losing is not a big deal, because you only lose when you stop trying, and surrender but not fully willing to, and also taking resentment into account.
The wound of ‘losing’ depends on how much you take the issue into the business. The more resentment you have, the more pain you gain.
Some people say, it’s good if you feel anger about losing. You’ll become stronger because of it.
I say, yes you might be better. You could become tougher, You’re become like ‘hulk’ look-a-like monster, angry everytime. The only time you feel happiness is when you win, the rest of it you’re just a mad, unhappy person.
Do you know how much energy we spend when we feel anger?
It’s a lot. A lot more than you can’t imagine, and not much people have that much unlimited stamina. You’ll exhausted and you’ll grow old – fast. One tiny happiness if you compare it to the energy spend to reach that goal.
One buddy ever say this to me : “The strongest opponent that I ever had isn’t the one who have the record of always winning, but the one who is always losing but never give up and keep improving. He is so much persistent that I started to think that he will defeat me someday. I live in worry everyday and on the contrary he always live with enthusiasm and have more confidence as the time goes by.”
And when I questioned that ‘man’ (the one who is always losing), he said : “Well, it’s not important to be the champion. It’s just the bonus. The happiness is the competition itself. I enjoyed it. + Haha..”
Yes, he enjoyed the game but not his opponent. He’s feared by his opponent because of his stamina. A relentless person that always cause trouble to anyone.
His opponents fights him with burden of not losing to a loser, and on the contrary he fights all this “champions-want-to-be” with enthusiasm, with his desire of a very good match.
Although he ultimately lose the game, he has become better and better, and also happier. I’m sure he will become the champion someday, and he won’t carry the burden of being a champion when the day comes.
This also apply to our lives. Losing is not a big deal. No one care, even if they care it’s on their own concern, not yours. And you should not meddle into it.
Just enjoy your life.
You’ll absolutely feel the pain, but suffering is always optional. It’s good to feel good. It’s bad to feel bad. Only if you learn how to let go, bad feeling won’t stay for long in your heart.
Sometimes life is so hard for you, but you must always try to smile.
Someone scold me because of this. He say, “How can you smile if you live in misery. You are not in my position, you don’t know how i feel.”
The truth is he’s right. I never know how he feels, and I don’t want to speculate on things. I don’t want to pretend to know how he feels. I’m just giving my opinion, my perspective about his current condition.
I’m always telling myself, I don’t know when I will die. But I’m sure that I will die someday. I’ll gonna lose everything because all of this is just temporary, so why should I feel sad because of this small misfortune? I have nothing to lose, because I’ll lose it anyway sometimes somewhere.
It’s like sitting alone in the beach watching beautiful scenery as the sun rise and realize that this momento won’t last for long, so I can appreciate its beauty.
That way I started to take things easy. I will never ever to cry over something for too long, instead I learn to let go and to appreciate everything which is still on the present. I try to appreciate everything as well as I appreciate my breath.
How many people show their gratitude when they still have their breath. Isn’t breathing freely really a perfect blessing. It’s a gift that a lot of people trying to save by spending a lot of money in the hospital.
So, just enjoy your life.
When someone tell you that you’re pathetic loser, leave them alone. You know yourself, you know that everything will come to an end and you, yourself enjoy the life without having to be burdened by the life.
Take your time helping yourself, then you can start to help other people too. If some people talking bad about you, trying to slander you, making false accusation, then just leave them alone especially if you know that you have no chance of proving yourself ‘not guilty’.
It doesn’t mean you need not to clear your reputation when you have the chance to do it. It’s about keeping your head cool. Never angry about it because it will not solve the problem.
Life can be so hard if you’re mistreated by the others, but you must realize that this is life. Don’t take any resentment, don’t hold grudge, feel sympathy for the one who hurts you. Maintain love, affection and you’ll feel better. It won’t be easy, but if you never give up, you’ll get used to it.
Remember that you’re not a loser only because you’re unable to protect yourself. You’re doing your best, and everyone sure have their own vulnerability.
In taichi, we learn to keep the balance of our body, we sync our body with the universe. When you add meditation practice into it, you may experience a feeling that couldn’t be described my mere words.
I say it ‘may’, because it’s a probability. It won’t always the same for everyone.
But the feeling is good. You will learn about yourself mentally and physically. Mentally, you will understand yourself better than ever, you’ll find out what’s the source of your uneasy feeling, why are you sad, why are angry. You may say that you know your business well, you know what’s your problem, but sometimes the truth isn’t as simple as that.
Sometimes, what you know is only things you want to know. The only hindrance of you getting the truth is your ego, which is hard to let go.
When you learn to meditate, ego will weaken and the truth will come out just like the bubble of air rising to the surface of water. And the answer for the problem will come out without even thinking about it.
You will know yourself better than ever, that way you’ll slowly learn about others as well. Contented, your mind will be like empty glass, things come and then disappear, leaving no trash inside your mind.
You are fully aware of your own mind as well as your own body. Maybe you can hear the sound of your heart beating?
The rest is quite hard to tell, because only by experience you can learn lessons in which may take billion of words to be said.
Grandpa said, you should start slow. Taking tiny step, one by one. As you’re become more accustomed, you can run like a dalmatian cat (maybe what I mean is a cheetah. Heheheh )
Don’t look at how much meters you have left behind by your opponent, instead look at how much you’ve progressed and what can you do to improve. Set your own standard, unbiased and not trying to compare it to the standard set by the others.
In some cases, code of honour is like an unwritten rule that need to be obeyed by everyone in the society.
This is not always good, because when people come into wrong conviction, we could somehow carried by the tide. It’s like getting bite by a vampire, and we can’t resist our body turning into vampire like them.
The only way is to leave the society, or at least do not involved too much with them.
It’s really hard to change a person, but you can always start with yourself. Contemplate, forgive yourself for every mistake committed by you in the past. start with small step, take your ego down and you’ll learn a new kind of happiness (version 9.9)

Where is Happiness?

Hardy Chen — Thu, 24 Mar 2011 02:36:46 +0000

How can you let go of your past?

If it hurts, then just let it go, don’t ever think about it anymore.
Well, it’s much more easy to said than to be done.

How can you let go? The question is : you can’t or you aren’t willing to?

If you love someone, and that person hurt you, can you just let it go? If you really love that person, that won’t be easy.
You’re clinging on your suffering because you’re hoping for something from that person, which is unlikely to happen ‘yet’. (There’s a probability here)

Love is really such a strange thing.
You can feel happiness because of it, but you can also down into sadness because what you hoped from love is not ‘yet’ to be happen.

When you love someone, but that person don’t love you back, you feel like you’re left behind, alone. You still worry about that person, though, but at the same time you keep hurting yourself.

I hate to say this but this kind of love is not pure. I once have this kind of feeling too. I drowned into illutionary feeling at the beginning and by time I was filled with disappointment, and sometimes it became hatred.

Well, that’s not good.
So, just forget about it and start over again.
Start from scratch, see thing clearly – I mean not by eyes but with a better perception about things.

First, see your own. What have you done? What mistake committed?
Then some regret comes in. Let it come. Contemplate.
Then you may think, “can I do something to fix it?”
If you can, then go for it.
But if that’s not possible, then forgive yourself.
The one that was hurt because of you may not forgive you, but you should give forgiveness to yourself, with fond intention not to repeat the same mistake.

What’s next?
There’s no need to think about ‘next’.
No need to rush. Give yourself a break. Contemplate, watch feeling come and go.

Sometimes the feeling come and go – fast like tsunamis, sometimes it slow like a gentle breeze.
Just watch and don’t involved in it. Be amazed but don’t get carried away. Eventually, you will feel the joy. Something uncommon that may not happened to you before.

If, and only if – somebody suddenly come and scold you for a reason, and destroy the mood – don’t get irritated.
Saying simple sorry is enough and take action to settle the problems, calmly, with cool head and steady stance.

If somebody suddenly come and give you praises, be thankful and then just forget it. Never ever think about it for more than one minute. It’s a temporary thing – let it go and you may get another one another day.

Remember that happiness is not in here, in Jakarta, Medan, Singapore, or even in Africa.
Happiness is something you create by assistance of perception and valuation of gain and loss.
Don’t get youself stained with wrong conception. Be gentle, be calm, open your hand for things to come and also let it go when the time come.

Happiness is also not living in the future nor the past. It lives here, in the moment of present. You just need to create space for it to live.

GANBATTE @you, LC, CW, P, SWT, IH.

How come My oWn Happiness is not in my own Hand ?

Hardy Chen — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 08:32:51 +0000

What’s happiness. Why am I too much depended on it?

Everyone are trying too seek happiness for their own. Some get it by hurting others, some by ‘selling’ some act so they can get more attention from other people.

My teacher always said that we’re social ‘creature’, meant that we can’t live by our own. We always need other people assistance in order to live ‘properly’.

That’s true. But I am always questioned myself, even if we meant to be social creature like what my teacher said, does it mean that we’re also need to let our happiness determined by other people.
Can’t we just possess our own happiness without too much depends on others? It seems impossible, isn’t it?

But it made me thinked about one thought. We’re too much depended on others because we’re expecting too much from others. By other words, we can say that we’re a lot more receiving than giving. We tend to give only for an expectation to get payback for our merit. That’s exactly why I often heard people said : “There’s no free lunch in this world”.. ?!

Of course there’s some exception in here or there, but that’s how we generally speak about what ordinary people thought about happiness.

Simply said, you can think about it this way : It’s imposibble for a person to treat you with kindly manner if you’re always rude to them.

However, living in this world you can’t expect too much from others. Sometimes your friend might expect you to care for them, sometimes they scolded you for being too much meddling into their business. You can’t have one way to treat everyone the same so they won’t disappointed at you.

And that’s how we feel depressed all the time. At one side, we must accomodate their expectation for us, and at the other side we’re also expecting too much from them.

It’s tiring, isn’t it?
So, why don’t we try to focus more on ourself. How we should feel contented with what we have right now, instead of beefing about everything else which is out of reach.

Woohh… I didn’t mean that we must seperate ourself form social intercourse, but what I meant is we should try to develop happiness inside ourself.

I think it’s enough..

Moving Forward, Moving Backward, or Just Stand Still?

Hardy Chen — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 08:35:57 +0000

It�s near end of year right now.
Usually, every end of year we will try to review what we have achieved in this year. Did we make any progress this year, or just suffering a set back or no progress at all?

For me this year somehow better than previous one. But strangely, I feel the same. Nothing improve too much this year. I�m still lonely, searching for something that I don�t really want� etc etc� I realize that something which is not easy to attain is satisfaction.

As human, it�s natural that we want more and more. Every time we get something, we�re tend to search more and more. It�s not uncommon when we do love more than one thing. We�re not only seeking for love, we�re also seeking for money, fame, adventure, etc. When we try to stop, we often feel empty. Our mind is keep yelling �Hoi� do something� It�s boring in here !!!�.

People often tell me if I have a lot of money, I will happy. If I have a goddess like beautiful wife, it will be a bliss.
Is that true?

I have seen my neighbor committing suicide. He has beautiful wife, a lot of money and good fortune. But what happened was the good fortune come to turn into bad fortune.The lucky star turned into bad luck star which is become the reason that force him to commit suicide.

So� what�s happiness exactly?

If you have a lot of money, you will be haunted by fear. If you have someone that you love the most, you�ll keep missing that person when they are not around. That�s why I�m starting to think that worldly happiness is just another mask of suffering.

So whether I make any progress or no at all it�s not important. The more important thing is whether I�m fully satisfied with my life. Am I making too much complaint or not?
I remember a quote from a story about wishing game� The only happiness that I wished for is when I don�t need any wish to be happy.

Protected: Lonely on Valentine’s Day

Hardy Chen — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 04:38:21 +0000