For me this year somehow better than previous one. But strangely, I feel the same. Nothing improve too much this year. I’m still lonely, searching for something that I don’t really want… etc etc… I realize that something which is not easy to attain is satisfaction.

As human, it’s natural that we want more and more. Every time we get something, we’re tend to search more and more. It’s not uncommon when we do love more than one thing. We’re not only seeking for love, we’re also seeking for money, fame, adventure, etc. When we try to stop, we often feel empty. Our mind is keep yelling “Hoi… do something… It’s boring in here !!!”.

People often tell me if I have a lot of money, I will happy. If I have a goddess like beautiful wife, it will be a bliss.
Is that true?

I have seen my neighbor committing suicide. He has beautiful wife, a lot of money and good fortune. But what happened was the good fortune come to turn into bad fortune.The lucky star turned into bad luck star which is become the reason that force him to commit suicide.

So… what’s happiness exactly?

If you have a lot of money, you will be haunted by fear. If you have someone that you love the most, you’ll keep missing that person when they are not around. That’s why I’m starting to think that worldly happiness is just another mask of suffering.

So whether I make any progress or no at all it’s not important. The more important thing is whether I’m fully satisfied with my life. Am I making too much complaint or not?
I remember a quote from a story about wishing game… The only happiness that I wished for is when I don’t need any wish to be happy.